i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
