you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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