i just wanna soil my oats bro
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
