dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
