Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
