My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I need water and some morals
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize