if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
