Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
