don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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