i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
