At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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