Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
