Can Purell be used as lube?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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