So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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