I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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