he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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