I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
