just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
