How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
