Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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