I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
