He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
