I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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