Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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