So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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