Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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