I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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