now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
