I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
