Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
