I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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