you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
