your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
