you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
