You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
