he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
