I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i believe in u and ur pee
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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