dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
