ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize