I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
