whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He shit in the fireplace
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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