you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
And the cops told us we were all naked.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
