I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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