I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
