I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
