ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
