This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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