Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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