its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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