did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
