At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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