So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
