I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
