Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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