I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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