If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
