My pussy is not your playground.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
