what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
