oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
