Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
