even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
