It's Friday. Sex?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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