walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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