Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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