A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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