dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just want to make out with him forever
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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